Pervy Online Date

Looks like I was getting all hot and bothered waiting for his email for nothing. The guy turned out to be someone looking for some hot online action. I should have heard the alarm bells ringing the minute the word 'erotic' came into our online chat, right about after the third exchange of sentences.

I guess my mind didn't want to believe that this guy, who had the nerve to put all his pics all over his profile, with family and friends, could turn out to be a dirty, lil' perv.

After 'erotic', came 'gigolo', 'stimulating'.. strange use of words sneaking into our conversation. Next thing I knew, I get an invitation to watch him have a little fun with himself on his webcam. Sick bastard. I declined, cos I didn't want to lose my lunch all over my beautiful Acer. My gal pal said I should have recorded the whole thing and uploaded it on Youtube. Hmm.. not worth the permanent damage on my retinas though.
















That's all you've got?

What a total turn-off. It did cross my mind to just scrap the whole online dating thingy but then I came across a very enlightening article on the net about how online dating is a great avenue to meet someone nowadays if we only put in the same effort, patience and persistence as we would in real life. Even in real life we meet all kinds of people in bars who can be psycho and pervy, so why do we expect otherwise from the net?

Made sense. And then, best of all, another cutie-pie who I buzzed and was really hoping to get a reply from, finally replied me a few days ago. I had already given up on a reply from him! This time I'll be on perv-detect mode full time though..

Putting Yourself Out There

Putting yourself out there (PYOT) . That's the most-used phrase that's being thrown about among my gal pals and me lately. Of course, it's already out in the open that I am now officially on a hunt for a hot-blooded male. Friends are sending me invites to places good for 'meeting people' and giving loads of encouragement on putting my ass out there.

But putting myself out there is really not an easy thing. It's about keeping a really open mind and always taking the first initiative instead of playing games. I mean, geez, I'm tired of games, no more games. And being a girl, gosh, this is the first time in my life I'm being so brazen to chat men up and ask for numbers.

The whole purpose of this PYOT is, naturally, to meet loads of people and increasing my chances to meet 'the one' I can finally cuddle up to while watching a nice DVD over the weekend. The downside to PYOT is having to go through all the scary motions of being rejected, blown off and left by the phone/mailbox waiting for a call/email that is never going to come. Gawd, I hate that!
















Why the f@*k haven't you replied my emails?

Especially now that I've gone out on a limb to reach out to this person, who usually replies my emails within hours and is now quiet as a mouse, probably figuring how to make his quick getaway. Of course, I'm left here checking my emails every other minute like a dumb-shit, unable to concentrate on an overdue article. F@*K!

Yeah, PYOT isn't for the faint-hearted. But it has to be done if I'm going to keep myself sane. And it works! I don't think many people find their other halves/boyfriends/FUBUs/sugar daddies just sitting around like Cinderella hoping for their prince to come along, ring their door bells and sweep them off their feet. People find each other by PTOT!!

Gal pal was just telling me how she finally met her hubby. She walked up to him in a night club and asked him to dance, that's how they met. After that, she chased him for months, sending him endless smses even when he wasn't exactly interested in the beginning and made her wait in agony for his replies plenty of times. It's going on 5 years now that they've been happily married. And before she met hubby-to-be, she had her heart and pride broken countless of times because she PHOT.

Well, if it means being able to meet the one, or even a fling while he comes along, I guess its worth all the pain and trouble. Better than staying home, going psycho and rearing cats.

Online Date Giving Me Hot Cold

Eye Candy does help in moments of extreme loneliness.






















Paul Walker looking too sexy in his bermudas

Online dating not working out so far. I am having some exchange of emails with some guys. Though it's moving real slow. There was this one guy who I thought blew me away intellectually? Fucker hasn't replied my email for days.

How stupid. Getting hot-cold treatment.. ONLINE!! I feel like I've just graduated to a whole new level of loserbility.

Online Dating for Love

What do you feel about online dating? That's what my friend asked when I droned on whining about my horrible loneliness the other day. Umm, I have a vague idea but does it work? Or is it just going to be filled with profiles of dirty old men, pervs looking for cyber-sex or psychopaths?















"Not really. I have a friend who dated a couple of decent guys through online dating, and she even had a long-term relationship with one," she replied. Really? It is true that we do almost everything via the internet nowadays - shopping, paying bills, watching movies, banking, looking for directions, communication - so why not dating? It'd be great, especially for the busy schedules that most us lead nowadays.

So I signed up for one, no kidding! Of course I signed up for the most popular site.. I ain't taking chances with some dodgy website with advertisements of scantily dressed girls plastered all over.

It's pretty cool, actually. I get to surf through their directory of men who uploaded their profiles, some with photos. And I get to pick those that catch my fancy and send them a wink, or an email. And I did find quite a few who caught my eye! We can also favourite the person who's profile strikes us and politely decline an invitation to get to know one another by clicking on a 'no, thanks' option, which helps us avoid fussing on a guilty rejection email.

The downside is, I still haven't mustered the courage to put up my own photo yet. The main barrier being that someone I know may come across my profile and start making a joke out of it. I'm not too concerned bout my own friends cos they all know about it and they're supportive, but more of some narrow-minded hypocritical acquaintances who would love to ruin a person through their nasty gossip.

Anyhow, I don't think poorly of guys who put their profiles up. In fact, some are obviously really fun guys who are confident and funny who I'd like to get to know. So let's see how things go from here.

Downside to a Night in Town

A shitty hangover that makes you immobile the whole day, with the remaining intelligence of a 6 year old.

Night in Town, A Cure to Loneliness

No point staying at home, feeling lonesome and all sorry for myself. Pretty close to psychotic a couple of days ago so thank God for friends who lent me their ears and shoulders to cry on.

Anyway, was close to pyscho-woman because of the crazy and unbearable loneliness. So last night, I was glad to be able to dress up real nice, slosh on some eye-liner and par-tay in town. Had a really nice dinner with my closest buddies where we got all giggly talking about men. After that, a Ben Stiller movie and then straight to the club.

Club was fun although it was packed! Walked/Nudged around the club for a bit before getting chatted up by a couple of guys, who turned out to be students, upon which my galpal and me quickly headed for the hills. It was then we realised, gawd, everyone in the club's so young (f@*#!!!)..


Last stop, we went up to the ice-box area where we put on a couple of trench coats and walked into a -18 degrees celcius room where we froze our butts sitting on chairs made of ice and taking photos. Called it a night after a couple of drinks and drove home in good spirits, just fairly tipsy.

It's times like these that make me realise how lucky I am to have great buddies. And we made lots of plans to paint the town red over the next few months. I can't wait!

Brick Wall

Girl, when you see a brick wall in front of you, don't go smash your head against it. Just look for another way out.

Asked Guy For Number, Totally Blew Me Off

Mustered up some courage, with the help of the adrenaline pumping in my blood after a workout, to walk up to him and talk to him. Totally blew me off. Basically didn't want to give me his number, instead gave me a general line to call into. I just don't get it. Is it so bad to give your number out to a friendly girl?

There is just no excuse for this! If you're not into me, you should still at least be friendly. I mean, what's not to like to have another friend? If you're not into girls, you can still give me your freakin' number, I'm not gonna jump you or anything, right?

Anyway, I'm not going to spend another minute brooding over this. Instead, I'm going to gawk at Brad Rowe and marry him in my dreams. So there!

Gay Movie That Touches Your Heart - Shelter (2007)

It is 3 in the afternoon and I really should be working, but.. I'm already 80% through my review so I deserve a break!

Topic of the day is going to be Shelter, f*cking gay movie of the year 2007. Ever since I watched this show over the weekend, I've been walking around in a daze, just YEARNING for a love as sweet as this.

Story revolves around Zach (Trevor Wright) and Shaun (Brad Rowe) two hunk-o-hunks surfer-dudes who are kinda masculine, and I guess that's what really appealed to me. But they both also have their sensitive, vulnerable side.

Zach is a total sweetheart, a young man (a boy almost, if it weren't for his hot body) who makes sacrifices for his irresponsible, selfish sister by taking care of her son. He practically becomes the father figure in his nephew's life and its crazy how he takes on this burden at his young age, but he does it anyway without complaining, even sacrificing a scholarship offered to him by an art college. He's a talented artist, by the way.

Along comes Shaun, Zach's best friend's (Gabe) brother,..I mean HAWT brother, who is taking a break from his life in LA after his recent break-up from his bf. It's a well-known fact in town that Shaun is gay but Zach, who is on a break with his gf, is really cool about it.

Zach and Shaun start hanging out together, surfing and just enjoying each other's company, and they fall in love. It is the SWEETEST thing how they are slowly drawn together. And through their conversation, you kinda see that Zach already had an admiration for Shaun for some time since he bought and read Shaun's first book (yep, he's a writer, mama mia, that hot stuff) the minute it came out and thought it was awesome.

Anyway, these two hotties fall in love, and there are the sweetest kissing and bed scenes, with the heart-wrenching soundtrack song "Lie To Me" by Shane Mack playing in the background. Haunting! And gosh, I just loved watching these two naked, hot bodies come together as they unleashed their passion on each other. I watched the whole damn scene, what 10 times now? And I'm not stopping, yet.

And then your heart kinda breaks a little for Zach because he feels so helpless later, torn between his responsibility for his family, his confusion at him finally realising he's gay and wanting to be with Shaun who so obviously really cares for him.

Anyways not gonna spoil the ending for people who haven't watched this show. I highly recommend it to EVERYBODY because it is such a fantastic show and opens people's minds to how gays are just ordinary people who lead ordinary lives, and that gay love can be a beautiful thing, not something disgusting. Any type of love, as long as its love, is a beautiful thing. We should be so lucky to experience a love like that in our life time, really.

Since we're on the topic of gay movies, I wonder why heterosexual girls enjoy watching gay movies? I have some friends who go absolutely ga-ga over gay movies, just like me. We went nuts over Brokeback Mountain when it came out (watched in 7 times and bawled like a baby each time) and we're kinda hoping that Kris Allen realises he's got gay tendencies and starts snogging Adam Lambert who has the hots for him (hey, don't tell me you haven't been following Kradam? Fanvids on Adam Lambert and Kris Allen sharing hugs, snuggles and oh, yeah one kiss, are all over Youtube)

My explanation is that we love men so much, we like to watch more of them, and what better way than to get the girl out of the picture completely!

Freelance Has Its Perks

It's been a few months since I've gone freelance full-time now and my biggest challenge is discipline. It's tough to set a time line when the TV is right in front of me, the kitchen, just a few steps away, and sometimes, visitors just come at the wrong time.

The deal is: if I don't produce enough, then I don't get enough moolah. Although I do make enough for my monthly expenses, buuut.. I'm definitely not going to buy a yacht anytime soon.

But know what? Most of the time, I'm pretty contented. Except for a few setbacks which I'm working on.. other than that, I think I'm happier than I've been for some time.

In the first place, the job's great. Doesn't pay millions.. but it does have its perks. I get to go out and try all types of cuisine in different restaurants, I get free memberships to fitness centres, I get to meet people.. and I still have quite some time to spend for myself doing whatever I like.

Particularly I love my new workout regimes. Working out always reenergizes me and makes me feel really good about myself, but I never had the time to do it when I used to work 9-5 for a company. Now, I almost work out every day and I can see myself change. I feel good, look good and my confidence is improving.

The best part, I don't have to go to an office. No boss looking over my shoulder and telling me what to do, what not to do. There are a couple of guys I report to, but they give me lots of space.. which is great. And they are appreciative of my work, so that I'm really starting to believe I'm actually good in what I do.

With some of the extra time that I have, I've been trying to join some associations and classes to help myself improve on other skills like public speaking. I'm also thinking of going back to school. Thinking!.. I know its not going to be easy. I kind of treat my phase in life now as the time I can really improve myself as a person and to be able to produce something that is worthwhile to other people. At least, somebody other than myself.

I do have a couple of setbacks which I'm trying to overcome right now. Such as actually sitting myself to work a little harder so that I don't chase deadlines at the very last minute; really trying to discipline myself to STOP YOUTUBING during designated 'work hours'; and basically just trying to organize my time properly so that I have proper hours for work and play, instead of just a whole jumble of work, lots of slacking in between, and then no time to hang out with my family and friends.

On the romance side, I noticed I haven't put much thought into dating for the past (jeez) 2-3 years and that is just crazy. But strangely, this past few months, I feel like I'm just going through some vast changes, and I suddenly feel.. VERY READY FOR LOVE.

I just want to fall crazily, head over heels for someone. I feel like I have so much to give, and I do see myself giving more to the people around me. Suddenly, I feel like I want to surround myself with people. I want to go out, have fun and have a good time. Make lots of new friends.

Anyway, as much as I'd like to ramble on, it really is getting late and I've promised myself an early night tonight so that I can wake early tomorrow morning and bloody well get some real work done. I really need some discipline to get my life in order.

So, that's all on my life for now. More next time..